“My child won’t even let me pour water over their hair – how will they ever put their head under?” We hear this almost daily at our swim school in Graz. The good news: almost every child gets there when the path is split into small steps and the child sets the pace. Here we show step by step how it works, which situations are typical – and what you can do in each.
- Never force it: water familiarisation works through play and small steps. Fear triggers are not pushed but approached gradually (DSV-Jugend).
- The order: pour water over body and face → blow → bubbles → mouth, nose, face under → whole head → open eyes → retrieve objects.
- Start at home: the DLRG recommends beginning water familiarisation in the bathtub – with a cup, watering can or flannel that the child controls.
- Breathing out is the key: anyone who breathes out under water swallows hardly any and does not panic – we practise this above water first.
Why is going under so hard for many children?
For adults, water on the face is routine. For a child it is a mountain of sensations at once: pressure on the body, the world suddenly muffled, blurry vision, and the air is gone. Add water in the nose, which stings, and the feeling of losing control. It is therefore perfectly normal for children to be startled – it is not a sign of being “spoiled” or lacking courage.
It also matters that a single unpleasant experience (for example an unexpected dunking) can undo weeks of progress. That is why one simple rule applies in our lessons: the child decides how fast we go on.
The swim teacher’s ground rules
- Patience before speed. The German Swimming Association (DSV) stresses that children need time to try things and should never be pushed towards something they fear.
- The child leads. They pour the water over their own head and say “now”. Self-chosen stimuli feel far safer than surprises.
- Announce it first. “I will count to three, then we pour.” Reliable rituals create security.
- Celebrate small wins. Even a chin in the water is a step. Do not compare your child with others.
- Breaks are allowed. If a child shuts down, we switch to a game they like and try again later or in the next lesson.
- Stay calm. Children sense our tension. A relaxed, smiling adult is the best “safety line”.
Step by step: the staircase to going under
The following order is based on the DSV-Jugend exercise sequences and our teaching practice. Your child does not have to master every step in one day – some need a week for one step, others a minute. Stay on a step until it is fun.
Step 1: Let water run over body and face
Start in the bathtub or in shallow water with warm, clear water (no bath additives, which can sting the eyes). Legs first, then tummy and hair. Small children can use a flannel, older ones a cup, watering can or spray bottle. Pouring water over their own face can become a “test of courage” the child is proud of. A wet sponge squeezed over the head also works as “rain”.
Step 2: Play with air – blowing
Blow on the water surface until it ripples. Blow a ping-pong ball across the water, blow a “hole” into the water. Along the way the child learns to breathe out through the mouth – the most important foundation for going under.
Step 3: Bubbles
Mouth and chin in the water and blow bubbles (“We are a motorboat!”). Then the nose: breathing out a little air through the nose as well stops water from running in.
Step 4: Face under
At first only a few seconds with eyes closed: take a breath, face in, breathe out, come back up. A little song or counting (“one, two, three”) helps relax the sense of time.
Step 5: Whole head, eyes open
Now the whole head goes under. Whoever wants to opens their eyes – with goggles this is often much easier. Games: show each other something under water (finger numbers) or “whisper” something in an ear.
Step 6: Diving with a goal
Fetch rings or diving sticks from the pool floor, swim through a hoop or under a kickboard, forward or sideways rolls. Courage meets fun here – and the child hardly notices they are learning to “dive”.
Typical situations – and what helps
The child cries even when having their hair washed
Start outside the pool: put the shower head away, use a cup or flannel instead. Let the child “make the hair wet” themselves and keep a towel within reach so they can dry off on their own. Practise two to three minutes daily rather than one long session. Hair-washing games help too: a doll or cuddly toy gets “showered”, and the child decides.
The child stands in the water and clings to you
That is not a step back but trust-building. Give support without pushing. Move slowly into shallower water, sit with the child at the pool edge to play and let them splash from there. Only when the arms loosen do you move on.
The child only wants to go in with goggles
Perfectly fine. A well-fitting pair takes pressure off eyes and nose and makes curiosity possible. Later we shorten the time with goggles playfully (“Today shall we count to five without them?”).
The child holds their breath instead of breathing out
Then they are usually more afraid of “water in the nose” than of the water itself. Practise breathing out above water first: blowing, blowing out a candle, soap bubbles. Then: mouth in the water, bubbles. Breathing out = no water in the nose – we explain it with an image (“the air pushes the water away”).
The child swallowed water or is coughing
Important: stay calm, hold the child upright, take a short break and encourage them (“That happens to swimmers too – you reacted brilliantly”). Coughing is a normal protective reflex. Afterwards do something light such as blowing, not diving straight away. If coughing persists, or there is breathlessness or anything unusual after swimming, please seek medical advice.
It worked yesterday – not today
Completely normal, and part of learning. Go back one step, make the task easier and finish with a success the child can do for sure. That way the feeling “I can do this” stays.
The child had a bad experience (e.g. an unexpected dunking)
Talk about it without judging and take what happened seriously. Then start again at the very bottom (step 1) with rituals and clear announcements. In a calm one-to-one lesson with a familiar teacher, trust can often be rebuilt faster than in a noisy group.
The child is sensitive to noise, cold or touch
Then a warm water temperature, a quiet pool, ear protection or earplugs (if the paediatrician has no objection), a fixed ritual and plenty of time help. Our teacher has further training in “Autism Swim” and adapts the lesson to the child’s needs.
The child feels pressured in a group
Comparison with others (“He can already do it!”) causes fear. In one-to-one or two-person lessons the pressure disappears – the child learns at their own pace.
What you should not do
- Do not dunk them by surprise or push them under “just once”. It destroys trust.
- Do not throw them up or duck them to “make them brave”.
- Do not treat arm bands or swim belts as safety: they are not life jackets, and the head can end up under water with them (advice from DLRG experts).
- Never leave a child unsupervised – not even in shallow water. Drowning is silent. Always stay within arm’s reach.
- Do not compare or shame. Phrases like “Don’t be a scaredy-cat” do not help.
How we work at Schwimmschule Mo
Children from age 3 learn with us privately, 1:1 or 1:2, at the Bad zur Sonne pool in Graz. The child has the same teacher every lesson, there are fixed rituals, and we start where the child is – whether they already dive or first need to tolerate a wet face. Every lesson ends with a success.
You can find more about our lessons for children on the page Swimming lessons for children in Graz (in German). Free slots are visible directly in the booking calendar.
Frequently asked questions
At what age should my child put their head under water?
There is no fixed age limit. Water familiarisation ideally starts playfully in toddlerhood, for example in the bathtub. What matters is that the child has fun and is not pushed.
How long does it take until my child goes under?
It varies a lot: some children go under after a few minutes, others need several weeks. Regularity matters more than length – better to practise briefly and often.
Should I just dunk my child once so they see nothing happens?
No. An unexpected dunking can trigger fear and destroy trust. Small steps the child controls are better.
Do goggles help?
Yes, often a lot. They protect the eyes, take pressure off the nose and spark curiosity. Later the child can gradually get used to diving without them.
My child is very afraid of water – what can I do?
Start at home, talk with your child, practise briefly and regularly, and if the fear is strong get support from a swim teacher experienced in one-to-one lessons.
Sources
- DSV-Jugend (German Swimming Association): Wassergewöhnung – Spiele und Übungen (PDF, German)
- Apotheken Umschau: Schwimmen lernen: Übungen für Kleinkinder (with advice from swim teachers and the DLRG, German)
- DLRG / epd: DLRG empfiehlt Wassergewöhnung zu Hause in der Badewanne (13 July 2023, German)
- American Academy of Pediatrics: AAP releases updated drowning prevention recommendations (18 May 2026)
This article does not replace medical advice. If you have health concerns, please speak to your paediatrician or GP.
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